blueberry/cheesecake

for you

I'm feeling quite okay but still crappy. But anyways...

The quote that I highlighted..

...I was wondering whether it applied only to me? Because I realized that I didn't cry a single tear ever since that day. Maybe it's the reason why up until now, I haven't been able to forgive myself completely. There's no hatred and pain anymore but the guilt is still there. After all these years. After all that has happened in his life. In my life. I feel the guilt even more when we finally see each other during the rarest of times. Even more so when he gives me his smile. And I think, "That's it. That's the reason why he's so dear to me."

...I was wondering whether it applied to me doing that for him and not just for myself? Because I realized that I didn't make an effort to ease what I have caused. Pretended that everything was his fault and not mine but in reality it was I who brought the pain. Regret. Time. Two words that are synonymous to "What if?" when joined together. Unfortunately, I chose to be blinded by my world.

My world. Selfish, yes, that's what I've been. That's what I am. It's the very demon that I'm still fighting. Trying again would mean pulling back the past.. But trying again would mean another chance.

No. No, it isn't for me. It isn't for us. The comfort that I feel whenever we we hold hands as friends is enough. I have been forgiven.

"How you see that sky move upwards again, then it falls. That's a past about to change my everything. Past.. A forever reminder that I may fail my Present."

I don't have a present but I think this is the perfect time to make things right. To move-on. For me.

P.S.
Salamat kay Walp dahil nagnakaw ako ng quote sa novel nya. Hehe.

blueberry had a little lamb last 6/03/2008 12:59:00 PM