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Uninspired

For several weeks I kept away from the blogosphere because I suddenly could not grasp the words, which came easily to me before. Very frustrating. Highly frustrating. I thought that since this is a personal attache of whatever-things-I-find-meaningful-but-sometimes-not-quite, it would therefore be useless if I post something not coming from the inner depths of my cerebrum. :p So I contented myself with visiting other people's blogs, looking for an oomph that could get me started. Then I stumbled upon Dadeh Jodi's latest blog entry. I think this perfectly describes Me for now:

Name: victoria
Date: 2/7/2009
Colorgenics Number: 56123407


You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality.

You are very self-sufficient and methodical. You presume to know where you are going but need to find a person who will recognise the way you are, not be too demanding and who is, as they say in Italy, 'Simpatico'.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your 'inner- self' you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.




Did I feel better after reading this? Not really.. But I am relieved. I finally have at least an inkling of what's going on with myself.

Much has happened. Much is happening. I can barely keep up anymore with what I want to say. Imagine me trying to get all the words, hoarding them. Constantly picking and discarding, reconsidering and rethinking.. but still I can't find the right one.

It's like I've fallen into an empty literary shithole. Help?

BTW, Paul Goldin is a genius. Try it for yourself: Colorgenics


blueberry had a little lamb last 2/07/2009 10:32:00 PM

i.
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